Destined to Play, Feel, Fly Trilogy Read online

  We’ve swallowed or been jabbed with everything under the sun today — yellow fever, hepatitis, typhoid, cholera, the list goes on. My upper arm still throbs from the tetanus injection, and I’m pleased the kids are finally asleep so they won’t be feeling any pain. Their little systems are no doubt awash with many miniature versions of disease. Jeremy was as gentle as possible with them, but it’s always difficult to see your children endure needles. They were very brave, and just so excited to be embarking on yet another adventure. God, I hope I’ve made the right decision having them come with us.

  I smile a weary smile toward Robert who has Jordan nestled on his lap just as Elizabeth is on mine. The others are chatting at the front of the plane.

  ‘How are you, Robert? Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?’ I’m suddenly aware that we haven’t really had any time to chat privately since arriving at the apartment.

  ‘You ask me now?’ he says with a laugh. ‘I’m okay, Alex, all good. It’s weird though, isn’t it?’ He raises his eyes to our surroundings. ‘I could never have imagined this turn of events.’

  ‘I’m still coming to terms with how my quiet life has been turned completely on its head.’ I’m aware my voice sounds a little wistful which Robert notices.

  ‘This has been pretty hard on you, hasn’t it?’

  I reluctantly nod, scanning our previously intact family unit and trying to keep my emotions contained on the inside as my eyes well up. ‘Yeah, it has, but I’m hoping it will work out in the end.’

  ‘Any regrets?’

  I smile at his recognition of one of my life’s values. ‘No, I don’t think so, but it doesn’t make this any less weird. I’m just so sorry that you have to be involved … and the kids … I never wanted …’

  ‘It’s alright, Alex, I have no regrets either, honestly, about any of this, or us.’ His voice is sincere as he acknowledges both of our new and old relationships. ‘Besides, from everything I witnessed with the kids today, they are very excited about being jungle explorers.’ He deliberately lightens the mood and I laugh at the memory of them stalking around the apartment earlier as the various wild animals they may encounter.

  ‘Do you think I made the right choice?’ I ask earnestly.

  ‘The only one you could have. Really, you will get through this, we all will. And look at us now, a functional extended family, still talking to each other, still supporting each other and our kids sleeping soundly on our laps. It’s not all bad.’ He regards me with both sympathy and strength.

  ‘Thank you. You are an incredible dad. I never want them to lose that. You’ve been so great through this when I’ve been so, well, overwhelmed, I suppose.’ I hope he understands that the children we made together are what binds us together and I’d never undo that bond.

  ‘And you’re a great mum. We both know we made beautiful children together,’ he says with a wink, confirming his understanding.

  I glance toward Jeremy, who has been sporadically keeping an eye on me during his conversation with Leo, Adam and Martin, and smile. I have nothing but platonic feelings for Robert, which has been the case for years, but I still love and respect him, now even more so than when were officially together. I feel secure in my relationship with him knowing that our love for our children will override any personal issues we may face.

  Jeremy catches my gaze and returns my smile both with his lips and his eyes, and my heart floods with warmth, spreading a tingling sensation from my head to the tips of my toes. I blush from the strength of these physical and emotional feelings. It’s as if we are bound together with invisible ties and he too, gives me a knowing wink, never one to miss the slightest change in my physiology.

  How blessed I am to have these two men in my life, both of whom I love, but in completely different ways. The turmoil I have been thrown into as a result of saying ‘yes’ to Jeremy, always saying yes to Jeremy, is nothing short of unbelievable. But he has brought more love, and play, and feeling into my life than I ever believed possible, resuscitating my heart and rescuing me from the brink of endless inertia that was surely eroding me with each passing hour of my life. The drama, pain and angst of the lows, perhaps contribute to me feeling so alive during the euphoric highs. This is certainly one hell of a wild ride, and no doubt will continue to be, but finally I am now brave enough to embrace the journey surrounded by love and supported by the most special people in my life right by my side.

  I quietly reach for a blanket to put over Elizabeth and place her head on a pillow, carefully extracting myself from beneath her body. As I stand, I give Robert a kiss on the forehead as a symbol of just how much he means to me, to us. Then I walk over to stand by Jeremy, needing to be near his strength and the muscled warmth of his body. His arms immediately wrap around me like a cloak and I snuggle into his chest, knowing that whatever happens from this point forward, I am where I should be.

  After however many hours, we arrive. Once we land, we are escorted through some militarised security checkpoint, board two helicopters for an hour or so and then travel by jeep on forest tracks taking us deeper into the jungle.

  The warmth and humidity hits us instantly, as soon as we are exposed to this new environment, creating an instant sheen on our skin, turning into perspiration and eventually making me feel like I desperately need a shower. Finally, we turn a corner and reach a clearing. Before our eyes, is the wondrous Amazonian version of Avalon.

  Lake Bled

  Martin finally arrives back in Ljubljana, slightly weary after more than 48 hours in transit around the globe. The weather makes a pleasant change from the humidity of the jungle; he has never really understood why people like to spend their holidays sweating and baking under the sun — give him skiing and trekking any day.

  He grabs a sugarless, double shot macchiato before jumping into the hire car to make his way to Lake Bled and Salina. Pleased he is finally back in communication with the world, he connects his phone in the car and makes the calls that will bring him up to speed.

  It’s a relief to hear that Interpol is finally taking Dr Blake’s abduction allegations seriously. Until Leo organised for his contact in the FBI to get involved, they had been refusing to consider that one of Europe’s most respected executives could have gone so spectacularly rogue. Finally, the evidence they packaged together has fallen into the right hands and he will have the official support he needs to bring this woman down.

  Martin’s first stop is a meeting he has organised with the Slovenian Ministry of the Interior. The ministry has appointed a local liaison officer to coordinate between the various authorities, and given the US Federal Bureau of Investigation has an international partnership with them, it should reduce any red tape considerably, smoothing the path for Martin’s team. He has also been informed that they have the on-ground support of a National Police Force special task squad should he require additional resources.

  Leo gave him the green light to use every means at his disposal to ensure Blake and Quinn’s reputations remain intact, and that is exactly what he plans to do. Salina has made great progress and he knows Leo will be pleased now that he has the Ministry’s commitment and the ground support of the police. Given they had no knowledge of Xsade’s secret facility, they have also alerted other departments to start investigating tax fraud and evasion in their country.

  Things are certainly not stacking up very well for Jurilique. Her previously immaculate corporate reputation is beginning to collapse like a house of cards and Martin knows they are very close to her demise. It’s the first time he has allowed a smile on his face for a very long time as he updates Moira with the latest details, as is procedure.

  Martin has been trying Salina’s number since his arrival and is a little concerned she isn’t answering. She is one of their best European operatives and has been instrumental in getting this case to where it is now. During their time together trying to locate Alexandra, he became very fond of her and, if Quinn hadn’t been with them, Martin suspects something
may have happened between them. In this job, neither of them have much chance to form liaisons with others, but if they had the time and opportunity who knows … Martin, his focus always on the job at hand, knows that Salina, like him, wants to see this bitch fall and fall hard for what she has put them through, justice or no justice.

  He finally makes contact with Luke, the junior operative working with Salina, who confirms she had managed to find access into Xsade two days ago and re-entered the underground facility early this morning. Before re-entering she contacted Luke and said that she had discovered they were having an orientation training session for their new inductee scientists and planned on joining the group, disguised as one of them. It was the only way she could get into the facility, as her explorations had come to a dead end without higher security access.

  ‘When did she leave?’

  ‘She left at 6.00 a.m. so she’s been gone almost nine hours now. I’m assuming she’s in, but I’m not sure whether she has merely been unable to contact me or if she’s been taken.’

  ‘But she always keeps her phone on, yes?’

  ‘That’s right. We’ve had no luck trying to gain access — it’s like an impenetrable fortress. And as it’s underground there’s no guarantee our phones will get a signal. But as last reported, we have confirmation that both Votrubec and Jurilique are currently inside.’

  ‘Blake says she believed she must have accessed the facility via the hospital, because she wasn’t taken anywhere else and only escaped via the boathouse with Josef’s security pass.’

  ‘Correct. Salina was scouting both areas in an attempt to gain entry. We were able to acquire a security key from an employee who refuses to undergo any more testing on behalf of the company. He’s feigning sickness to avoid going in.’

  ‘I’m assuming Salina is armed?’

  ‘Of course.’

  Martin shakes his head. ‘I don’t have a good feeling about this. She would have been in contact with us by now if everything was okay.’ He pauses for a moment to assess his options while Luke waits on the line. ‘I’ll organise for police backup to be on standby in Bled, just in case. Meet me at the hospital and we’ll agree next steps from there.’

  Alexa

  An environment as rich, thick, colourful and bountiful as this is difficult to describe. It’s as if we have arrived in the midst of the heart and lungs of the earth. It’s overwhelming. Everywhere I look is teeming with life; foliage is the greenest of greens; the flowers and multicoloured birds are brighter than anywhere I have seen. It’s as if I’m seeing everything for the first time through a special fluorescent lens. I have the sense of suddenly feeling like an insect in a land so vast and massive that it’s almost impossible to gain any perspective. The sounds of the jungle almost drown out our voices, as if we are rudely interrupting nature’s conversations when we speak. I breathe in the intoxicating freshness of the air. My lungs have never experienced anything so pure; it immediately energises my body, which is hungry for more of this invisible feast.

  Leo has built a small village of elaborate and luxurious huts scattered around a main building which resembles the other Avalon I visited at the end of my weekend with Jeremy. There is no ocean here, we are embedded in the fertility of the dense jungle which is littered with streams and tributaries that no doubt lead into the massive river system that feeds the mighty Amazon river. The sound of water trickling is never far away, like tiny bells tinkering in the wind. I feel like I’ve landed in the jungle version of the Faraway Tree and half expect to stumble upon Moon-Face or the Saucepan Man. This place is pure magic, its energy flows right through my body, enhancing my mood and enlightening my spirit.

  Surprisingly, we settle in very quickly to this new world. We go for walks on tracks that need to be remade and hacked out with machetes after each wet season and we are situated near the most gorgeous water hole to swim in, already a favourite pastime for the kids. It has a waterfall and a natural water-slide and is surrounded by water lilies and the vibrant sounds of nature. The water is cool and fresh and provides great relief from the humidity and heat of the day.

  It’s difficult for me to consider the imminent threats I faced in my old world as I eagerly immerse myself in this one, happily distancing myself from any potential danger my children and I face. Every time the headlines in Madame Jurilique’s letter pop into my mind I resolutely push the thought aside. There’s nothing I can do about it now. I’ve put my trust in Leo and all I can do is see it through. Who knows, it may have already begun and I’d be none the wiser, so I continue to embrace this ‘unreality’ while it lasts.

  Our diet consists mainly of fish, vegetables and fruit sourced from the jungle, with plentiful treats such as sweet berries fetched from the trees … and we’ve even adjusted to the bitterness of the chocolate made from cocoa beans. Our food looks like a festival dancing on our plate with so many rich, diverse colours competing for attention. The kids love the taste of maracujá ice cream and tapioca and are having a ball climbing to reach the purple grape-sized berries from the açai palm trees. They haven’t asked for any fast food yet so hopefully the abundant supply of papas fritas, otherwise known as chips, is keeping them sated in the short term.

  We’ve been practising meditation and yoga exercises each morning and evening as though we are on an extended family health retreat and we feel happy, vital and alive. Our delight in this no-technology, simplistic, healthy style of living surprises us, except for Leo of course, and even the kids have taken naturally to having a siesta. We eat when we are hungry, sleep when we are tired and play when we are in the mood. I have no complaints about going with the flow, as I don’t remember ever feeling this content in my life. The days meld into nights and the nights into days, and just as Leo requested I have no real sense of time or how long we have been here. Living this lifestyle, it becomes absolutely irrelevant. I’ve never experienced such a sense of timelessness in my life and I feel myself soaking up the experience of being where there is no such thing as a deadline.

  As I’m swinging in the hammock from the balcony of the main house, I notice Leo and Jeremy walking outside fully armed.

  ‘My goodness, where are you guys off to with all that?’

  ‘We’re having guests for dinner tomorrow, so we’re killing a pig.’

  ‘Good grief, have you ever done that before?’

  Leo smiles. ‘I have. Jeremy assures me he’s good with a scalpel.’

  ‘Are the others going to help?’

  ‘Adam? No way, not quite his style. He’ll eat it, he won’t kill it.’ Like so many of us in the world, I think.

  ‘Robert’s at the water hole with the kids. We weren’t sure whether you’d want them around,’ Jeremy adds.

  ‘Oh, right …’

  ‘Don’t look so shocked, AB, you know this is where food comes from.’

  ‘I know, but…’ I can’t help thinking of a documentary I saw a few years back where some mother pigs were confined in their pens, unable to move freely, as their piglets suckled on them constantly. I have only eaten free-range pork since. I shake my head to remove the disturbing image. ‘Oh well, at least I know they are — were — happy pigs. So who’s coming, anyway?’

  ‘A few senior members of the tribe, maybe a couple of others. They’ll be taking us to the shaman. It’s our first meeting before our journey commences, a celebration of sorts.’

  Well, this is certainly news to me. ‘Does it involve me?’ I ask, naively. They both chuckle in response.

  ‘Sweetheart, it’s all about you, that’s why we are here,’ Jeremy says with a smile and a sense of the unknown in his eyes.

  ‘Should I be worried?’ I yell out as they walk away toward the animal pen.

  ‘Not in the least, but you must be there,’ Leo calls back.

  Right, well, that clarifies things … or not. I lower myself back into the hammock as they wander off to hunt and slaughter in the pig pen. As much as I try, I can no longer concentrate on the book I was en
joying moments ago and the butterflies that have been lying dormant in my stomach recommence their flight.

  The next night is full of festivities after a day of preparation on all our parts. Our guests have arrived, five in all from the Wai-Wai tribe. Two elders and one young man, one teenage boy, and Yaku, an apprentice medicine man, who appears to be somewhere in the middle of the bunch age-wise and can speak a little English. Their dress is partly casual western, partly native. They are all wearing camouflage-patterned, or khaki, cargo trousers, some with black singlet tops, some without, but their upper bodies are painted traditionally and they are adorned with headdresses of varying leaves and feathers.

  Their small-statured bodies are muscle-toned and they look extremely serious until their giant white-toothed smiles illuminate their faces against their darkened skin. The shaman, referred to as Yaskomo in their native language, rarely travels from the village. The elders, who are said to share some of his magic, are to take us to him when the time comes.

  The concept of timeframes tends not to exist in the same way here as it does for us in the western world, with everything happening when it feels right rather than at any pre-arranged time. I imagine the notion of meeting a deadline is just not understood in these parts, which in itself makes life so much less stressful.

  The pig is sizzling on the spit over the fire and there are plenty of vegetables roasting underneath. After we have eaten, we relax and enjoy their local music. The beat of a tribal drum, a wooden flute and a guitar keep us entertained as we celebrate the coming together of our unlikely gathering.